seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I deserve this hangover.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize