bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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