She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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