with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I feel like death gave me a hand job
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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