You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
