Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
