my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
