At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Send help, water and tortillas.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
