I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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