Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
