Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
