The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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