At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
