you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
