Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
