I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
