She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
