just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
