I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
