I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
