if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
