ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
