You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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