I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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