Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
