I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
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