Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
