I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
