and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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