I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize