I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
