...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
