Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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