Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Are my feet made of real feet?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
