Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
