your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
