He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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