i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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