I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
