Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize