We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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