Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
