Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
