wrigley field is MILF paradise
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
