But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
