If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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