It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
