AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
