NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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