She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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