We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize