I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
