she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
