i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
