We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
