I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
