Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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