hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
