maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just blew my weed a kiss
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
