I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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