They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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