literally had 100 drinks last night.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
