His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
