i always forget guys have bellybuttons
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
why do cheetos always look like penises
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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