Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
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