i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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