Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
