I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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