I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
