And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
