Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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