Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
