haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
