cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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